Why are all my decisions going wrong

Make stress-free decisions

Hardly decided, already regretted - why do we find it so difficult to stand by our decisions?

Dr. Doris Wolf: "After the decision has been made, many people tend to deal with the advantages that other decisions might have brought them. The greater the range of possible alternatives, the less clear the advantages and disadvantages, the more so it is more difficult for them to stand by their decision. "

There are people who stand by their decisions and have no regrets - at least they give the impression. And then there are the people who stress every decision because they don't know how to make a decision because of all the possibilities and opportunities. Why do we deal so differently with "decision-making"?

Dr. Doris Wolf: "This has to do with our general attitudes towards life. For example, those who put pressure on themselves not to be allowed to make mistakes and to have to make the one hundred percent right decision are a great burden for them. Also a low self-esteem and the desire for Recognition leads to uncertainty in decisions. The fear of being rejected because of the decision by others makes decision-making more difficult. "

Are people who are self-confident about their decisions, egoists? What does selfishness have to do with making decisions?

Dr. Doris Wolf: "Being self-confident about decisions has nothing to do with egoism. A healthy self-esteem, on the other hand, does. Those who allow themselves wrong decisions and are convinced that they can solve the problems that arise can also take responsibility for their decisions."

Does it affect the psyche if you never learn to make decisions and to stand by them? Is it even noticeable physically in the end?

Dr. Doris Wolf: "We already learn in childhood how to deal with mistakes and failures. If we don't learn to trust our abilities and to accept each other, even if we do not act optimally, then we feel under pressure when we make decisions This pressure can manifest itself, for example, through tension, pain, circulatory or gastrointestinal problems or sleep disorders. Addiction problems and depression can also be long-term consequences. "

Can I reverse a decision I have made or do I always have to stand by what I have decided?

Dr. Doris Wolf: "In principle, it is good if we stand by decisions that have been made once and do not keep opening the pot again. But a situation can change unpredictably and new arguments for another decision can arise.

What consequences can it have if I do not learn to make decisions, if I concentrate much more on pleasing others (mother, partner, sister, boss, colleagues, neighbors) rather than myself?

Dr. Doris Wolf: "Then we run the risk of neglecting our needs and wishes. We feel like victims and there is a risk that we will blame others for our dissatisfaction."

How do I know if my way of dealing with decisions healthy / normal is?

Dr. Doris Wolf: "That is difficult to answer. Ultimately, everyone has to judge it for themselves. What matters is how long we" torture "ourselves, until when we make a decision and how we then deal with ourselves. We are long and only with If we are worried about the decision and if our body suffers, then we should work on making decisions more easily. If we keep postponing decisions or make no decisions at all, these are also alarm signals. "

Is there any trick you can use to weigh up what is right and wrong before making a final decision?

Dr. Doris Wolf: "We usually think through the alternatives and listen to our guts: How does it feel? We take the alternative that we feel good about. We have the alternative in appropriate pictures and with appropriate evaluation colored, then we can go after our guts. However, it may be that we have had very bad experiences in our life and therefore see the future in an exaggeratedly negative way (eg: my ex-partner was bad. I'm sure I will experience the same shipwreck with the new man ). Then the gut gives the wrong signal. It is best if the head and stomach are in harmony. We then have the feeling that we are making the right decision. "

Are you at some point too old and retired to change your “decision-making mindset”?

Dr. Doris Wolf: "No, age does not set any limits. We may just have to train harder. On the other hand, many people also become more relaxed with age and become less dependent on the opinion of others."

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