Is it worth it to save my relationship someday
Can Our Relationship Still Be Saved? The experts advise
Cheating, distance or lack of sex - there are many reasons that herald the end of a relationship. Can you still prevent the breakup?
When you've fallen in love or something has happened in your relationship that has severely damaged the intimacy and bond between the two, it is difficult to believe in another future together. Sometimes this doesn't make sense either. However, there are clues that can help you know that it's worth not thinking about the breakup right away.
According to Eric Hegmann, couples therapist and coach, every relationship goes through highs and lows. This includes disagreements and arguments. "Conflicts are only superficially about factual issues, it is always about emotional issues and worrying about the connection to the partner. Behind a conflict there is usually uncertainty and the question of why the partner does not understand me or cannot put himself in my situation." says the expert. A certain doubt about the partner's feelings also resonates in most conflicts.
Do you still believe in a common future?
The couple therapists Dr. Sabine and Roland Bösel agree that a separation can be prevented if both partners still believe in the relationship. You should therefore ask yourself: "Do I still see potential in my relationship? Or is trust so destroyed that I no longer believe in us and a common future?", The experts told t-online. If, from the point of view of both, there is still the will and the thought as well as a low hope that they will be able to find each other again, couples therapy would make sense. "However, it is a lot of work," says Roland Bösel. "In itself, a relationship means continuously working on togetherness."
Decision support thanks to the love formula
John Gottman, American relationship researcher and psychologist, has found that a happy and long-lasting relationship works according to a certain formula: It's called 5: 1. Accordingly, five positive emotional experiences with the partner may be followed by a maximum of one negative. If this is the case, the partnership is balanced, stable and stable. Sensations that are undesirable and damaging to the relationship include: criticism, show of force, withdrawal, contempt, and defense. It is also important, according to Gottman, that the partners do not rock each other up in an argument. An emotional attack should therefore not be counterattacked. The other person should not be annoyed, but rather appeased.
Sandra Murray, a psychologist at the State University of New York, also emphasizes that humor, intelligence and tolerance should not be missing for a happy, stable and harmonious relationship.
If you feel ignored, constantly criticized, or suppressed by your partner, you should consider breaking up.
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