Why cheats bad
If someone cheats on you or treats you badly, it almost never has anything to do with you
“Pain makes you stronger. Tears make you braver. Heartbreak makes you wiser. So thank the past for a better future. " ~ Unknown
I always thought when someone betrayed me that the fault was in me
I was convinced that something was wrong with me.
I never felt I was enough. I'm not even sure I can fully articulate this feeling, but whatever it is, I just didn't feel good enough.
Slim enough, pretty enough, smart enough, worthy enough, or just, well - everything enough.
Now I've come to the conclusion that if someone treats you badly, it has almost nothing to do with you.Other people's behavior has something to do with themselves.
I realized that my ex-boyfriend and his sexual intercourse with other women were his own insecurities and had nothing to do with not being good enough.
It was his thing, not mine. It was his ego that needed a kick, and he used other women to do it because he wasn't emotionally or intellectually developed enough to empower himself.
I think we need to be responsible enough to take care of our own feelings and not hold someone else responsible for how we feel.
He was still caught in a cycle of thinking he needed someone to make him happy. He needed other women to strengthen his self-esteem.
I always used to feel that my world collapsed when a man cheated on me or left me. I felt that my worth went down the moment he stopped wanting me.
Now I can see that my worth is just what it is, it's innate. We are all born lovable and good enough. Even if no one in the world can see it, it is reality.
I am just enough as I am. I don't have to be anything other than what I am. I don't have to prove anything to anyone anymore.
I realized that I am more than lovable. If someone does not treat me or cannot treat me the way I want and deserve to be treated, then that is not a reflection of me.
I have learned that it is my job to put my interests first and to love myself enough and to move away from everything that does not serve me or build me up.
This time I realized the inner strength much earlier than before. I just walked away when I discovered the lies; before that, I stayed until I put myself right, even though I wasn't the one to blame.
I now realize that I am a perfect person, all alone. I don't need another to complete me.
I function and enjoy my life alone. That doesn't mean that I don't enjoy being in relationships - I really do, and I think it's so magical when two happy, whole people come together and share their lives.
However, I have realized that if the other person is looking for someone to complete them or make their life more exciting than it is, then it is more than likely that it will never last.
Relationships are areas of spiritual growth and they can enrich an already happy life. Its purpose is not to make an unhappy and pathetic person better; that would take too much force.
Love is a place of pure positive energy. If someone has to put you down to try to keep you, it is not love, but control. Control is based on a scarcity model of love, and that is not positive energy, but fear.
I never realized when people said love wasn't enough. Love is always enough, but love means loving actions, loving behavior.
You cannot say that you love someone and still lie to them; the two things just don't go together.
Here are five things I learned from my previous failed relationships:
1. If someone cheats on you or treats you badly, it almost never has anything to do with you.
You are good enough even if other people's actions could lead you to believe otherwise.
2. Someone else's bad behavior is not badly reflected in you.
Someone who cheats on you doesn't make you look ridiculous. It shows that these people have problems that they need to work on.
3. Your worth is not tied to anyone or anything.
Neither your weight, nor your relationship, nor your job.
4. Love is never bad; Love is amazing, pure and simple.
Cheating hurts, lies hurt, a broken heart hurts - but these things are not love. This is painful, but cheating, lying, and hurting others is done out of fear, not love. In fact, love is the only thing that can relieve the pain, and you can start loving yourself. Self-love depends on yourself.
Set the standard for how people should love you by loving you with all their heart.
5. Just because one relationship isn't working doesn't mean the next isn't working.
Do not give up love; give up the people who made you think love is not beautiful.
"The strongest relationship you will ever have is with yourself."
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