What triggers cross-dressing

Discuss preferences with your partner (crossdressing etc.)

Hello, I am 28 years old at the moment, male and have been in a happy relationship for 5 years. I thought to myself I would post this on this page because I am mainly interested in female perspectives. I know that there have already been similar posts, but still wanted to make a new one because I just want to write that from my soul.

As I said, I'm in a long-term relationship. So far, all of my friends have been very cautious about their personality and since I am very reluctant to talk about sexuality on my own, I have never really shared myself with a friend. Lately, my desire has just become less and less, because I can actually only live out the "masculine" side of my sexuality during sex. I myself would consider my needs to be balanced between "feminine" and "masculine".

I don't actually like these terms (male / female) myself, but since I can't think of a better word I will continue to use them in quotation marks. I mean what Freud associates with these terms. So the masculine is wanting to do something actively with someone else and the feminine is the sensual.

The thing is, I was actually always aware that my sexuality was a bit unusual and that I was ashamed of it for a long time. But now I feel much more comfortable with it and would like to share it with my girlfriend. I have always found it incredibly exciting to take the female perspective in my fantasies (including the sexual organs) and have also had experiences with men (which nobody knows, but not during the relationship).

Before someone comes along and says I'm just transsexual, I want to make it clear that I feel good in my body and that I also like to be male in both social and sexual terms. But I also have the other side, also in a social and sexual sense. I also like to put on women's clothes, but I have no need to socialize like that, I just like to do it for myself.

It's really great between us on a purely human level, as she doesn't tend to think too much in traditional gender roles. With us I am always the one who wants to be cuddled and I love it when she tells me how cute she thinks me. Outside of my relationship, however, I'm already typically man (not meant macho).

Actually, I think that you are someone who would get along well with it. In addition, I don't necessarily want my preference for women's clothing to be integrated into our sex life. I just can't bring myself to talk to her about sex at all, even though I've been doing it for ages. Once I wrote a letter to you that I wanted to leave in your apartment ... but then I didn't do it.

I'm just afraid of unnecessarily complicating or breaking something that works great. And even if I've now developed a more positive relationship to my inclinations, I find it pretty embarrassing ...


What do you all mean? Should I really talk to her about it? If so, put the cards on the table in slices or straight away?