Why should I only date one man
Seduction coach gives tips | Dear women, you will conquer EVERY man!
A wrong word, a mistake while eating, an incorrectly worded question: There are many traps lurking in getting to know each other - small and large. But now there is hope for women too - after men learned the art of seduction by flirt coach Maximilian Pützhave learned - BILD reported.
Now flirt expert Dietlind Tornieporth is helping all women on the (love) jumps.
One thing first: Without the smallest spark of interest, even the smartest seduction strategy will not be successful, warns the expert.
But how do I know he's into me?
“We like to look at what we like. If a man consistently looks past me or at the floor, then he is obviously not interested. The same applies when his forearm is casually on the counter and his hand is dangling down, bored, ”says seduction expert and author Dietlind Tornieport.
This is how man conquers every woman
Note: a man who is really interested in a woman will always try to impress her. Everything about him, his demeanor and body language, will radiate self-confidence, determination and dominance:
★ He will stand up straight. He'll stick out his chest and pull in his stomach.
★ He will stand with his legs apart and put his hands on his sides. He will try to make himself bigger and take up more space. He will stretch and stretch and bring out his body. He wants to appear imposing.
★ He will sit there with his legs apart. He will speak in a deep voice. He will look at you with a steady gaze.
★ He'll grab the back of the chair you're sitting in or place an arm on the back of the sofa behind you. “Every man tries to put himself in the right light when talking to a woman. He also wants to please. If he's interested. It is a common myth that only women try to dress up in the presence of a man. He, too, will do everything possible to look good, ”says expert Torniporth.
The following gestures indicate his immediate interest:
★ He rubs his eyebrows. He strokes his hair. He's putting his hairstyle in order. He's straightening his tie. He smooths his jacket. He pulls up his socks. He plucks fluff from his clothes.
★ He's starting to smoke more. He sips his glass more and more often. He suddenly eats faster. This kind of auto-erotic substitute act not only feels good to him at the moment, but also draws attention to his lips.
★ He stands with his legs apart and his hips pushed forward. Basically, he wants to show what he has to offer.
★ He starts to stroke his beer bottle or armrest while he looks longingly at you.
★ He crosses his arms behind his head: The so-called axilla presentation - showing the armpit - is actually a gesture of dominance. With this display, he tries to attract attention.
Important: First touch is also a reliable test of whether or not a man is interested. Does he pull his hand back at the slightest touch? Is he sitting next to me on a bench, but moving more and more away from me? Does he take a step back when I speak to him? These are all very clear signals. “If I don't want to waste my time with a man who doesn't really care about me, I shouldn't ignore such signals. There are enough men who are happy about such advances, ”advises flirt expert Dietlind Tornieporth.
How do I best address him?
"First signal that you would not be averse to me. With looks and gestures. With an innocuous remark. Control the approach - but unnoticed, so that he does not have to give up his greatest good, his ego. In almost all courtship rituals in the animal kingdom, the female feigns passivity while subtly asking the male to take the first step. That still works best for people too, ”says the expert.
Once a man has taken his bite, it is again beneficial to let him take the initiative. “I haven't been to the cinema in a long time” or, more specifically, “The new Woody Allen will be playing here next week, I really wanted to see” are those covert clues that a man will immediately jump on and feel encouraged when the lady insists Invite cinema.
By the way: According to research, around two thirds of all dates that come about are initiated by women. In most cases, the rapprochement is therefore controlled by women. The woman is always the hunter - the man basically knows that too. He just can't stand being demoted to the role of an extra in this game. It would be best if I give him my phone number and he has the opportunity to actively arrange a meeting.
The secret to a successful conversation
The whole secret of a good conversation was described by the British charisma trainer Marcus Oakey as follows: "Leave someone better off than you found him." - Make sure that someone feels better after a meeting with you than before. If you finally cultivate this guiding principle as a way of life and are basically trying to make other people feel good - for an end in itself, i.e. for no discernible reason - then, in his opinion, that is exactly what makes a charismatic person.
These are the most important rules of charismatic conversation:
► Can listen: Men like to hear each other talk. All men do that. Women, in turn, want to please. That is why they have learned to respond politely and empathically to their interlocutor and to look as interested as possible. But at the latest when he talks so much that you would like to flee, then at the latest it has nothing to do with a good conversation. And nothing seems more sympathetic than someone who listens to his counterpart with full sympathy. Your undivided attention is your greatest compliment: I am observant. I am interested. I ask for. I don't think about whether I've already forgotten to turn on the dishwasher or whether my car is locked. I don't let my eyes wander around the room or I'm distracted in any other way. I bend slightly in his direction. My gaze is focused on him. I smile and make eye contact all the time.
► Flatter the man: Ultimately, every man is only interested in one thing: himself. He prefers to talk about himself. He wants to be admired. He longs for praise, recognition and approval. So the man should be encouraged to talk about himself. Men like to talk about their job and their successes. Possible questions: How did he get into his job? What activity does he particularly enjoy? How did he become so successful in such a short time?
► Steer with compliments: The best thing to do is to compliment the man on something that caught your eye. Best in terms of any properties. The classics: brave, strong, generous. If that's too archaic for you, you can comment on your assertiveness, humor or good orientation. Basically, men prefer to receive a compliment for something they have done themselves - it can be a degree in mathematics, but also the fat car that he could only afford because he works so hard every day. Compliments about looks usually embarrass men.
► His statements reflect: One should try to create a certain vacuum when talking to a man that he can fill with his stories. You give him the opportunity to shine. The opposite is the mirror of its attractiveness. He can show himself at his best. He's entertaining. He is charming. He makes you laugh. His brain will release a lot of serotonin and leave him with an intoxicating feeling of happiness. And he will associate this feeling with the lady in question. Danger! The following topics should be taboo: Problems, worries, blasphemy, being in a bad mood. In addition, one should never speak ill of ex-boyfriends and hold back from making confessions of love too early.
So organized Mrs the perfect date
Basically, a man falls in love with a woman who gives him the opportunity to appear in the best possible light. In the film “Faith is Everything!” Edward Norton confesses his secret love to the beautiful Jenna Elfman with the words: “I feel like the best version of myself around you.” And that's exactly what it's all about.
Dietlind Tornieporth: “A man wants to pamper a woman on a first date. It will make him proud and happy to show himself at his best. He wants the opportunity to surprise her with his generosity and caring. He wants the chance to win her heart. And he will be grateful to enjoy her attention, her smile, and the incomparable company of a woman. If the lady then lets him know that he has actually achieved his goal - namely to make a woman happy - then woman has actually already won. "
Danger! The perfect seductress never confuses the question of who takes the bill at the end of such an evening with the question of a woman's emancipation or financial independence. Because the first date is not about proving your independence. A man enjoys pampering a woman. To shower you with attention, that is the special attraction of such a date for a man.
When it comes to the place for the date, one should try to tear the man not only out of his everyday life, but also out of his milieu - according to Dietlind Tornieporth, this is a very effective strategy. Example: With the top manager you go to improvised parties in demolished houses. You suggest that the proud car owner walk to the restaurant and discover the hidden corners of the big city along the way. With the Gourmet, you pass a small Turkish bakery as if by chance, in which original Kurdish specialties are served on flowered plastic tablecloths in a tiny adjoining room - of course the best specialties in town, of course! "Then he can still order the cinema tickets, choose the restaurant or show me this great vinotheque, where he can show off his knowledge of wine - what men like to do, the main thing is that he has the feeling that he has taken the initiative", explains Dieltind Tornieporth.
The magical moment is approaching: the first kiss
The first kiss is the next consistent step in conquering. It is a step that should be consciously left to HIM. “You should also proceed systematically with this step: Gradually, the fleeting and seemingly accidental touches become more and more frequent and more and more natural. This creates an intimacy in which a kiss is a matter of course, ”says author Tornieporth. If the woman did everything right, the kiss is very simple: you get as close to your face as possible and look straight into his eyes. For example, when you are just saying goodbye. Resist the temptation to cover up the tension by talking. It is best not to say anything at all and let him take charge of the situation. There is hardly a man who misses this opportunity.
How does a woman get him to bed?
Dietlind Tornieporth: “Sex is definitely not the problem, because normally the mere hint that sex is going to be going on is enough to get a man intoxicated. Testosterone is a very powerful substance and men like to indulge in its high. If a man ends up in bed with a woman, in a certain way the subject has been dealt with for him. At least if he was only looking for a conquest. If a man is interested in a long-term relationship, then the woman must try to be more to him than just a sex object. And the chances of that simply increase when a man has enough time to get to know me better. You have to keep that in mind at least. "
A strategic reluctance at the first meeting has nothing to do with dusty etiquette. A woman needs to know that physical intimacy by no means creates emotional closeness. Expert Tornieporth knows that anyone who believes they can use sex as a binding agent for a long-term relationship is unfortunately completely wrong.
According to the art of seduction expert Dietlind Tornieporth, there is no rule of thumb as to when it comes to the right time for the first time together. But she reveals a tip from the American author Doris Langley Moore that she thinks is very useful:
“The sense of the right time should not be missing for a second when practicing the art of love. A woman attracts attention about her appearance, her fame, or some other kind of prestige, but she will not secure it if she does not choose the right moment for everything - and the right moment is seldom the man's for it holds. "
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