What is an unstable relationship

In the following, the characteristics of the individual personality disorders are roughly outlined to provide an initial overview. In the back of your mind, the general criteria listed in more detail in the superordinate menu item must be kept in mind: the low adaptability of reactions and sensations to external circumstances, their relative permanence (regardless of, for example, phases of illness) and the suffering they cause.

Persons whose personality is classified as paranoid people tend to experience setbacks and reluctance in a multitude of different situations, to perceive their surroundings as hostile and untrustworthy, to feel threatened by possible conspiracies, secret agreements and lies of others. Also friendly behaviors of other people are often perceived as hostile or disparaging, so that building trusting and close relationships is very difficult.

A schizoid Personality is characterized by the fact that few or almost no activities give real pleasure, overall less intense feelings are expressed, the interest in interaction and connection with other people appears to be low, the person in question prefers to do things alone and is "enough for himself". Lonerism, more interest in the technical and practical than in the emotional and interpersonal as well as a relative indifference to social norms may, viewed from the outside, shape the schizoid personality, which can put a strain on social relationships. Furthermore, the ostensible preference for being alone does not always correspond to the person's real need for closeness and contact.

In the antisocial Personality is particularly striking the large discrepancy between the behavior of the person and the applicable social norms. Affected people often appear heartless and disinterested in the feelings of others, disregard social rules, norms and obligations including applicable law and tend to show aggressive to violent behavior without being able to feel personal responsibility, feelings of guilt or regret afterwards. Obviously, those affected often come into conflict with the law or have serious relationship conflicts.

The emotionally unstable Personality is characterized by a clear tendency to act impulsively without considering the consequences. In addition, those affected often suffer from persistently very changeable moods, difficulties in planning actions and outbursts of violent anger. A distinction is made between two subtypes.

With the emotionally unstable personality of the impulsive type Mood instability, lack of impulse control and outbursts of threatening or violent behavior, especially triggered by criticism, are in the foreground.

With the emotionally unstable personality of the borderline type In addition to the mood instability with extremely intensely experienced feelings, there is a very unclear and fluctuating self-image, a changeability of personally meaningful goals as well as personal preferences, inclinations and orientations (this includes interests and hobbies, but also sexual inclinations), a persistent feeling of inner emptiness and the clear Inclination to emotionally very intense but only brief relationships and friendships. There is a particularly strong fear in relationships of being abandoned, so that the smallest signs in this direction lead to intensive efforts to get the other person to stay. This can be accompanied by threats and attempts at suicide as well as self-harming behavior, whereby these behaviors in the case of borderline disorders can also occur outside of interpersonal conflict situations. Other impulsive, potentially self-harming behaviors can be: excessive spending, sexually risky behavior such as unprotected sexual intercourse, abuse of psychoactive substances, risky driving or uncontrolled binge eating. With strong emotional stress it can lead to temporary states of dissociation, i.e. an interruption of the normal state of consciousness and connection to the environment through the five senses, or to paranoid states with persecution fears.

The histrionic Personality tends to express its own thoughts and feelings very clearly, even to “stage” them. Your own physical attractiveness is often of great importance and is also often "staged". For those concerned it is rather uncomfortable to have to take a back seat to what is happening or even to experience rejection. To outsiders, people with histrionic traits often appear very engaging and impressive, whereby entering into close connections can be made more difficult by the great need for variety, recognition and attention as well as the tendency to rather unstable attitudes and emotional states.

The anankasticorcompulsive Personality is shaped by a high degree of doubt and caution in all situations. The people concerned are very busy planning, regulating, ordering and organizing processes, which happens with such a high degree of perfectionism that the actual completion of tasks can sometimes be jeopardized. The high degree of conscientiousness, virtue and achievement orientation is not infrequently valued by outsiders, but can massively prevent the person concerned from indulging in their pleasure and the enjoyment of interpersonal relationships. In addition to difficulties that arise from this in private relationships and with regard to experiencing stress and the associated emotional and physical complaints, problems can arise in the professional context due to the sometimes obstructive perfectionism and the difficulty of handing over tasks to others.

The fearful or avoidant Personality is characterized by persistent feelings of tension and concern. On the one hand, there may be the conviction that one is socially awkward, unattractive and inferior in comparison to other people, so that there is great fear of being rejected or criticized by others. On the other hand, there is concern about being exposed to physical danger. These fears can lead to a significantly restricted lifestyle that prevents the development and entering into interpersonal relationships as well as enriching leisure experiences.

In the dependent Personality is the tendency to orientate oneself to the attitude, opinion and needs of others, even to subordinate them entirely to one's own efforts. This is based on the deeply rooted assumption that you cannot take care of yourself and be up to life on your own. Often there are massive fears of losing a close reference person, for example the life partner, even if there is no objective evidence for this, which often leads to relationship conflicts.

In the narcissistic Personality, painful feelings arise from the fact that the self-confidence of the person concerned is not only ambiguous and fluctuates between very low and very clear, but the (unconscious) desire for confirmation of self-worth from outside is excessively high. Finding recognition and admiration from others is, so to speak, vital for the person concerned. Since this is not always possible under normal circumstances, it is not uncommon for them to experience feelings of hurt, shame or humiliation, which can sometimes result in severe depressive symptoms.