Are the children of narcissistic parents depressed?

9 behaviors typical of children of narcissists

As we know from psychology, our behavior in adulthood is strongly related to our childhood and upbringing.

on February 10th, 2021, 8 a.m.

The narcissistic personality disorder is characterized primarily by one characteristic: a lack of empathy. Narcissists have strong cravings for approval and exploit others to pursue their own ends - often at the expense of those who are particularly empathetic. They usually have little interpersonal empathy and give back little emotional warmth to other people.

As children in particular, we are strongly influenced by our environment, especially by our parents. Experiences we have at a young age affect our nature and behavior in adulthood.

These 9 traits and behaviors may indicate that you were raised by people with narcissistic traits:

1. You have low self-esteem

Narcissistic parents often make their children feel like they are not good enough and are not meeting expectations. These feelings often persist into adulthood and result in low self-esteem.

2. You isolate yourself often

As children learn from narcissists over time that they cannot achieve their parents' expectations / ideas, they often tend to stop trying and to withdraw on their own so as not to make mistakes or not into them Situation to disappoint others.

3. You are afraid of being abandoned

As the affirmation and approval of parents with narcissistic traits is often absent or rarely occurs, children of narcissists often have unbalanced relationships as a result and long for the attention and affirmation of others. The fear of not being good enough and of being abandoned by loved ones is often particularly great for them.

4. You are often unsure

Narcissistic parents are often disproportionately critical with their children and often focus more on the child's mistakes rather than on the child's successes. This leads to the fact that the children become very insecure in different areas of life, whether it concerns their own appearance, ability or the effect on others.

5. You are prone to having depressed thoughts or anxiety

All of the feelings of "insufficient" can sooner or later lead to children of parents with narcissistic personality traits developing depressive thoughts and / or struggling with anxiety and nervousness. They find it difficult to develop a healthy relationship with themselves or with others, as they often blame themselves for their "mistakes".

6. You find it difficult to speak your mind

Narcissistic parents are usually not interested in the opinion / voice of their children and convey to them that only their rules or those of society ("You don't do that") count. Often they punish their children for contradicting or "disturbing". As a result, children develop difficulties expressing themselves and expressing their opinions, even when asked, because they have learned not to do so or simply not to want to disturb the peace.

7. You are prone to self-harming behavior or toxic relationships

Growing up in a toxic environment often leads to subconsciously bringing oneself into similarly "unhealthy" situations or entering into toxic relationships later in life, since that is what one is already familiar with. It is not uncommon for people who grew up with toxic / narcissistic parents to sabotage their actually healthy relationships because they automatically repeat patterns they learned early on.

8. You are very sensitive

Children of narcissistic parents learn early on to analyze situations and moods precisely in order to arm themselves for possible confrontations and to protect themselves from them. In later relationships, this can lead to them reacting strongly to small things and overinterpreting the other person's emotions.

9. You find it difficult to set boundaries

Since children want to meet the (mostly unrealistic) demands of their narcissistic parents, they often adapt and do everything possible not to disappoint. Often they put their own needs and desires behind them. Most of the time, this habit is still noticeable in later years. Drawing boundaries and expressing clearly when something goes too far or does not fit, be it at work or in private, is often difficult for children of narcissists.